Entry # 5
A Day of Troubles (no scheduled celebrations)
Things are not going too well with Mrs. Klapper. She was downright insubordinate today and called me “Your Royal Heinie” in a very snotty tone. She thinks she’s so funny but everyone knows women of her age have lost their sense of humor. I wouldn’t even let her audition to be my Court Jester if I were holding auditions, which I’m not because I already gave that job to Godiva Sheridan.
Godiva was feeling bad that she didn’t get to be my Chief Lady in Perpetual Waiting, but I have three best friends and they can’t all be my Chief. Avis Beam, who I've known practically since the day I was born, is my best-best friend and that has to count for something. I made Becky Waller-Klein my Enforcer (her height is finally coming in handy) so that makes Godiva the Jester, which works out perfectly because she is really, truly funny.
It’s not easy keeping all my subjects happy all of the time. Which is why I need Becky as my Enforcer, for when people step out of line. I will not put up with rebellion of any sort and that goes for Mr. Harold P. Loomis as well as Mrs. Klapper.
Mr. Loomis seems to think that everyone — including the Queen of All — must learn the metric system. He was adamant. And apoplectic. I’m thinking of having him decapitated.
In the meantime, Mrs. Klapper is trying to limit my telephone privileges.
She has no idea who she’s dealing with. I might just have to banish her.
To be continued . . .