Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Going to the Zoo

Walk out of the apartment and down the hall and out the big double doors and down the marble steps and through the courtyard until you are on the sidewalk in front of 2004 Vyse Avenue. 

When you walk past Mr. Shamansky's apartment don't let anything bang against his door accidentally on purpose because he will hear it and he won't like it and he might even tell your mother what you did. 

When you walk through the courtyard don't sing. Singing hurts Mrs. Lefkowitz's ears. Especially your singing. So just don't do it. 

Turn to the right and walk a few blocks and you will be at the Bronx Zoo in about five minutes. 

Only you better not do that because you're not allowed to go unless some grown up person who you are related to goes along with you. 

That means Grandpa. 

Daddy won't go because he is afraid of elephants, he says he doesn't like them but that means he is afraid. And also he is afraid of grass, I think, I'm not positive but I think so. 

Mommy won't go because she doesn't have the right shoes, she only has shoes with high heels and you can't wear those to the zoo, everyone knows that. 

Grandma won't go because she's busy making a kugel and also she likes to read her library books. 

So Grandpa will take you if you ask him to but don't expect to have any fun because Grandpa doesn't believe in fun. And he doesn't like to smile. And he never laughs, not ever, not even one time. 

If you don't aggravate him he might buy you a box of Cracker Jack but I'm warning you, don't be disappointed if he says no.